Eating Alone, and Other Solo Travel Firsts
The small social moments that worry people most before a solo trip, and how they actually play out in real life.
7 min read
Ask people what worries them about travelling alone and almost nobody says navigation, budgets or safety first. They say dinner.
The social side of solo travel is the part nobody prepares you for, so here it is, plainly.
Dinner for one
The first solo dinner is the hardest twenty minutes of most first solo trips, and then it is over forever.
A few things make it easier. Go early, before the restaurant fills with groups. Sit at the bar or a counter if there is one, because counters are designed for single diners. Order without agonising. Bring something to look at, but try not to hide behind your phone the whole time.
By the second night you will probably notice something odd: you are enjoying it. Nobody is negotiating the menu with you and the food arrives faster.
Asking for help
You will need directions, or a ticket machine explained, or a word you do not know. This feels like exposure and is actually the easiest social interaction available to a traveller.
Ask someone who is not in a hurry. Shopkeepers, hotel staff, people walking dogs. Start with a greeting in the local language even if that is the only phrase you have, then switch. It changes the tone of the whole exchange.
Long quiet evenings
Some evenings will be quiet in a way that feels unfamiliar, especially if you live with other people. Around nine o'clock, with the day behind you and nobody to review it with, the silence can get loud.
Plan for it lightly. A book, a series you saved, a bath, a walk to a viewpoint. Or call home. Solo travel does not require monastic discipline, and there is nothing weak about a phone call.
Meeting people, if you want to
You do not have to meet anyone. Plenty of excellent solo trips involve almost no conversation. But if you want company, the reliable routes are the same everywhere: a walking tour on the first morning, a cooking class, a hostel common room, a bar with a counter, or a day trip in a small group.
Set your expectations correctly. Travel friendships are usually a few hours long and that is enough. You are not looking for a lifelong correspondent, just someone to share a table with.
- Free walking tours are the easiest starting point
- Group day trips create conversation without pressure
- Counter seating in bars and cafes invites it naturally
- Nothing is obligatory, including all of the above
The part that surprises people
Most first-time solo travellers report the same thing afterwards. The trip was less lonely than expected and more tiring than expected.
Making every decision yourself uses energy, even small decisions. Which is why a proper break in the middle of the day matters more when you are alone than when you are not.
In short
The social fears around solo travel are real, briefly, and then they dissolve into ordinary life.
You will eat alone, ask a stranger for directions, spend an evening in your own company, and discover that all three were fine.
